Why Your Grown-Up Iced Coffee Must Be a Decadent, Non-Negotiable Dessert

The secret to a truly outstanding iced coffee lies in treating it as a non-negotiable dessert, demanding the finest ingredients—specifically, quality coffee, real dairy ice cream, and freshly whipped cream—to elevate the experience beyond a mere beverage into an indulgent, drinkable confection.

We had been discussing what to drink when you’re steering clear of alcohol, and no, I am not telling you to avoid it, only to be mindful. But when one opts out of the booze, the alternatives should hardly feel like a compromise. One of my personal favourites when I’m not in the mood for a tipple is the iced coffee, but not just any iced coffee. I mean the kind that’s so rich and decadent, it qualifies more as a dessert, and frankly, is the only acceptable alternative.

The Surprising History of Iced Coffee

Let’s address the elephant in the room: iced coffee isn’t some fleeting, modern trend propelled by the latest chains serving overly sweet, sugary abominations. My own research has consistently shown that this glorious drink is an old soul.

Believe it or not, the origins of iced coffee date back to 1840 during the Battle of Mességrane between the French and the Algerians. Running low on milk, soldiers started extending their regular coffee by adding cold water and some sugar for a much-needed refreshment. That simple, practical solution travelled back to Paris and across Europe, eventually making its way to America and Australia. The popularity, as one might expect for anything that combines caffeine and cool refreshment, absolutely soared.

Today, we’re seeing a significant surge, thanks to major coffee chains that are serving all manner of frappuccinos with such abandon they’ve propelled the iced coffee into the mainstream. But for me, this isn’t a new discovery; I’ve been enjoying a proper iced coffee since before I was a teenager.

The JoziStyle Opinion: A Good Iced Coffee Is Never Minimalist

I look at a lot of the younger generation—Millennials and Gen Z—who are determined to drink vast quantities of iced coffee, often without considering the sheer volume of sugar they’re consuming. But we don’t judge. You drink whatever you want, Boo. However, if you are going to indulge, you should be indulging properly, and that means treating it as a dessert.

The one golden rule that underpins my authority on this matter is straightforward: don’t be cheap. This is not the time to be skimping on ingredients. You must use the best coffee you have at your disposal and the best ice cream that you can afford.

The Great Ice Cream Betrayal

Allow me a moment of genuine outrage. I recently visited one of my favourite, highly regarded restaurants. Seeing an ice cream dessert on the menu, I succumbed—a temptation I simply cannot resist. What killed me, what truly killed me, was that they were charging R80 for a miserable scoop of that very commercial, store-bought confection we were all subjected to in nursery school and high school. I used the word ‘confection’ lightly, with air quotes.

Ice cream, in my informed opinion, is one of those culinary treats in life that you simply should not cheap out on. It needs to be made with a good custard base—it must have eggs and real dairy, it needs cream, and at the very least, vanilla essence. Just as I hold the line on a proper baked potato needing batter, sour cream, and chives at the bare minimum, my personal experience making ice cream confirms that quality ingredients are non-negotiable.

When you make any ice cream—chocolate, coffee, rum, or strawberry—you always add vanilla to the base. It gives a depth of flavour that is truly indispensable. So, when a supposed great restaurant serves up a miserable, store-bought R80 disaster, it is a culinary betrayal of the highest order.

How to Assemble a Decadent, Authoritative Iced Coffee

There is no bad way to make an iced coffee, only a bad way to make coffee itself. Since you, my reader, are listening to JoziStyle, I am pretty sure you don’t have bad coffee in your home.

The Effortless Instant Coffee Solution

The ideal way is to use leftover filter coffee that you’ve chilled. But sometimes, when a craving strikes, I simply couldn’t be bothered with the elaborate preparations. In a pinch, you can do what I do and just use instant coffee. Trust me, there is no shame in using instant coffee to make an iced coffee. It’s about efficiency and results.

It is literally as effortless as combining the following in a blender:

Milk
Ice cream (the good stuff, remember)
Chilled brewed coffee (or good instant coffee)

• I never add sugar, but if I have leftover chocolate or caramel sauce, I might use it for garnish.

The Art of Flamboyant Garnish

Half the treat with a proper iced coffee is to decorate it like a veritable floozy. You must garnish it like a sundae.

Cream: Whip up some fresh cream. I simply cannot abide that instant cream in a tin; it is an abomination. If you don’t have a piping bag, just use two spoons and artistically dollop the whipped cream on top.

Sauces & Sprinkles: Drizzle with syrups or sauces. Swirl some chocolate or caramel sauce on the inside of the glass before pouring.

Spices: For a truly extravagant, grown-up kick, get experimental. I use the same principles as I do for a hot chocolate: add a pinch of cinnamon, nutmeg, or cardamom, or even a dash of cayenne pepper for a warming twist. It adds a flavour profile that breaks the norm and adds a bit of colour.

Childlike Extras (if you must): This is when it’s perhaps acceptable to drink like a six-year-old. Pull out the marshmallows, the mini marshmallows, or even crush some biscuits on top of the whipped cream. Go to town.

The Affogato Appreciation

When I am out and about at a restaurant, I must admit I’m a big fan of an affogato-styled iced coffee. The formula for the uninitiated is a shot of hot espresso poured over a single scoop of good-quality vanilla ice cream. That, to me, is undeniably delicious.

But the true iced coffee—the one where you blitz up the ice cream and the coffee, top it with swirled chocolate sauce and a towering mountain of freshly whipped cream—that is a thing of beauty. You may just as well add a cherry for colour.

A Drinkable Dessert Solution

The genius of using an iced coffee as a dessert is the effortless assembly. You can have the coffee and the ice cream pre-arranged. All you need to do is whack them in the blender, pour them into your preferred glass—be it a parfait glass or even a cocktail glass—top it up, drizzle, and voilà! It’s an interesting dessert that you can drink. No fingers, no spoons required. I love that idea.

Comment: What is your idea of the perfect iced coffee?

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