No Jacket Required: The Sad State of the South African Theatre Audience

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I was at the theatre a couple of weeks ago watching Jonathan Roxmouth – a very dapper man, we can all agree – but it got me thinking, we, the audience, expect performers to put on a show complete with fantastical costumes, hair, make-up, and obviously nice shoes. We complain bitterly if they don’t look the part.

But I do think we need to talk.

I look very closely at the people who go to the theatre, and I’m not just looking at their shoes. There’s always some slapgat sitting there who thinks he doesn’t have to dress up because he’s sitting in the dark and no one can see him. You know what, we can all see you, and we judge.

Dressing for the theatre requires a more formal approach than matching your favourite tracksuit pant with a collared shirt. If you haven’t mastered the mechanics of buckles, buttons, and belts, maybe you have an excuse to dress like a five-year-old, otherwise I recommend you man up and dress up.


The Anorak and the Art of Disrespect

The same can be said for the ladies. Wearing a branded anorak from a car dealership doesn’t make an ironic his-and-her ensemble. And just because it’s black, it certainly doesn’t qualify as evening wear either. I see people wearing windbreakers in a formal setting and I think, there’s no good thing about wearing an anorak, period, unless you’re a fisherman and it’s raining.

I believe the effort the artist puts into their performance deserves some respect. A well-dressed audience is a form of respect, it acknowledges the hard work and the artistry the performers invest in their craft. Admittedly, a pantomime or an adult review may require less diligence, but the importance of dressing up is paramount.

It shows respect, not just for the performers, but for yourself and the other people in the audience with you. Dressing up adds to your enjoyment, creating a sense of occasion, a sense of theatrics. You become part of the performance, and I believe you’d enjoy it more if you dressed the part.

A Gentleman’s Guide to Courting

I often see young couples courting, and the contrast is astounding. The lady goes to town, hair, make-up, nails, and a nice cocktail outfit, maybe even a full-length dress. And then the guy’s there in his jeans, if you’re lucky they’re clean, with his shirt hanging out over his tummy because he couldn’t be bothered to get a belt that matches.

If the woman can put that much effort into her appearance, why can’t the man?

I’ve also seen women who put in the bare minimum. I saw one lady at the show wearing a sequin sweatband that I could only assume she bought at a novelty shop. If she was six years old, I’d say it’s cute, but you’re a grown woman. Dress the part, act the part.

That bar has been lowered so, so low to the ground. You don’t have to make much effort. Clean jeans with a belt, a collared shirt, and a jacket, bada-bing, bada-boom, you’re well-dressed. I yearn for the days when people would make a suitable effort for an occasion.


Higher Standards, Better Behaviour

I think it’s that level of respect that you show yourself and those around you that affects everything else you do. When you dress properly, you hold yourself to a higher standard, which means you hold everybody you’re engaging with to a higher standard. It doesn’t matter if it’s the waiter or the person seated next to you.

I’m not judging people who dress poorly, by the way, but I have noticed that people who dress better tend to behave better. They extend themselves better, they don’t stretch over you when you’re eating, they don’t talk loudly over everybody else, and they allow others to get a word in edgewise.

I’ve even noticed some people don’t even brush their hair when they go out. I was looking at a couple of people and thought, I don’t even think she washed her hair or combed it. It was so obviously wild and uncontrollable.

I was recently looking at a profile picture on LinkedIn, where this new trend of posting a photo is meant to drive engagement. I looked at one sad-looking woman espousing her corporate knowledge and thought, good shampoo, good conditioner, and a double comb might actually strengthen your argument. You’re opening yourself up for criticism.

If you’re feeling triggered, maybe you should take a good, long hard look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, how could you smarten yourself up a bit?

Comment: In your opinion, should people still dress up for the theatre?

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